


We Used to Be Closer Than This (We Used to Get Closer Than This)

by aeveee



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 12:33:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1688495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeveee/pseuds/aeveee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca Mitchell is a disaster. Specifically, Beca Mitchell is a disaster because she does not understand that Chloe does not have boundaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Used to Be Closer Than This (We Used to Get Closer Than This)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meteoritecrater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meteoritecrater/gifts).



> Title taken from ‘Chained’ by the xx.

Beca Mitchell is a disaster.

Beca Mitchell is a disaster in the making and a disaster that has already happened –  _has she even seen those ear monstrosities she wears? Like, were those drilled into her as a baby and she just never looked in a mirror since?_ – and a disaster that is going to ruin the Bellas.

Specifically, Beca Mitchell is a disaster because she does not understand that Chloe does not have boundaries. Chloe, who thinks that cuddling in bed is a thing that acquaintances do. Chloe, who regularly tries to wash Aubrey’s hair for her and kiss her good morning sometimes. Aubrey watches the way Beca’s eyes flit from Chloe’s eyes to her lips as Chloe leans in a little too close and she just knows that Beca Mitchell is going to be the disaster that will end the Bellas.

And Aubrey should know, because no matter how much she tries to hide it, Aubrey Posen was almost that same disaster freshman year.

—

“You need to stop flirting with Beca.”

Chloe looks up from lathering shampoo into her hair and peers through the foggy shower curtain, eyes comically squinted. “What? Aubrey, I can’t hear you.”

“I said,” Aubrey grits, shouting a little to be heard over the sound of running water, “you need to stop flirting with Beca!”

“There’s no need to yell,” Chloe says, shaking her head. She’d turned off the water in the middle of Aubrey’s sentence and Aubrey’s voice booms thanks to their closet-of-a-bathroom’s wonderful acoustics. “And I’m not flirting.”

“Not by your standards, no.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chloe asks accusingly. Aubrey shrugs, swilling mouthwash around before daintily spitting into the sink.

“I just mean, your definition of flirting is not everyone else’s definition.”

“And what’s  _that_  supposed to mean?”

“Chloe,” Aubrey sighs, running a brush through her hair and raising an eyebrow when Chloe steps out of the shower. Her hair is still full of shampoo foam and water droplets are running down her very naked body. “Just stop being quite so friendly with Beca, okay? And get your hands off of your hips, you aren’t twelve.”

“I will do what I want,” Chloe huffs. The anger in Chloe’s voice is playful and Aubrey can’t help but smile as Chloe steps back into the shower. “Beca is my friend, and I know that sometimes you forget, but you’re supposed to be friendly with friends, Aubrey.”

Just for that, Aubrey waits until Chloe has turned the water back on and started rinsing the shampoo out of her hair before idly leaning over and flushing the toilet. She leaves the bathroom to the sound of Chloe’s indignant shriek that she’ll flirt the pants off of Beca the next chance she gets. Aubrey just shakes her head.

So Chloe may not be listening. Fine. There are two ways to attack this problem.

—

Except Aubrey is not stupid. She is not going to confront Beca Mitchell about this because Beca Mitchell likes to pretend she’s a Doberman pinscher when really, she’s more of a miniature pinscher and Aubrey does not want to deal with that. Instead, she watches Chloe with a careful eye during Bellas practice, stiffening when Beca raises a challenging eyebrow at her.

“I know you don’t like my attitude, but I’m pretty sure I’m doing the choreography right,” Beca says. Aubrey has been glaring at Chloe helping Beca for a full ten minute span without blinking. Leave it to Beca Mitchell to assume everything is about her.

“I wasn’t looking at you,” Aubrey sniffs. Chloe is eyeing the both of them with curiosity and an unnecessary amount of apprehension and Aubrey refrains from rolling her eyes at her best friend. Instead, she looks down her nose at Beca who is wearing her usual defiant expression and bites, “You’re actually not doing the choreography right. Your arm needs to extend more on that last bit and your back is too hunched over.”

“Of course,” Beca says, not bothering to hide her urge to roll her eyes. Aubrey grits her teeth. “Well, maybe if you tell Chloe to let me practice on my own I might get somewhere. And also, as co-captains, shouldn’t the two of you be coaching the rest of the team as well?”

Beca sweeps a black-fingernailed alternative hand at the rest of the Bellas and Aubrey almost vomits at the sight of them. Stacie is showing off her fouetté en tournant to Cynthia Rose who is holding a fist to her mouth and grinning appreciatively. Lilly is sitting in the seats playing with a lighter, flicking it on and off and watching the flame with a disinterested eye. Fat Amy is excitedly offering slices of pizza to Ashley, Denise and Jessica and here Aubrey is, trying to get Chloe to stop fawning over Beca Mitchell before –

“ _What are you all doing?!_ ” Aubrey screeches. She cannot even get herself to think it. She won’t. Everyone freezes at the sound of her voice and the wet splat of a pizza slice hitting the ground is particularly loud in the ensuing silence. Aubrey is going to murder all of them. She’s going to start with stupid Beca Mitchell who is smirking up at her because she has no right to be smirking  _because_   _she is going to be the end of the Bellas_.

“Well, it’s actually really interesting, Aubrey,” Fat Amy starts, face splitting in a cavalier grin as she tries to push the box of pizza behind her. A corner of the box snags on something and the whole thing falls to the floor. Pepperoni grease slowly trickles out toward Fat Amy’s runners. “And now it’s a travesty. There were at least four slices left in there.”

Of course, Beca Mitchell, with all her gall and her disgusting ear monstrosities and Bellas-ruining attitude, chooses then to drawl, “I’m pretty sure my arm isn’t extended enough and my back might be hunched, but I’ve got the choreography better than anyone else here.”

That’s it. That is just  _it._ Aubrey is going to murder each and every one of them, Bellas pride be damned.

But first: choreography.

“Get in your  _places_ , aca-bitches. We are not leaving here until each and every one of you performs to at least one tenth of my standard!”

“Looks like I’m out,” Beca says.

“Shut up, Beca Mitchell, and _get in your place_!”

If it wasn’t for Chloe’s hand curling around Aubrey’s elbow, she would have strangled that stupid girl with her own scarf. Beca should be thanking Chloe for that. Actually, Beca should be staying the hell away from Chloe, but this situation with choreography requires Aubrey’s attention first.

Aubrey glares at each of them in turn as she counts them in.

Speaking with Beca Mitchell is out of the question –  _Aubrey cannot be arrested for aca-murder before they’ve even competed at Regionals. That is just crazy talk._ – but Aubrey is fine with that.  There are more ways than one to get Chloe to listen to her.

—

“You know, it’s been a while since you’ve let me wash your hair,” Chloe hums. Her fingers are playing lightly over Aubrey’s scalp and Aubrey doesn’t bother fighting to keep her eyes open.

“Well, I’ve always been in a rush so I can’t waste time in the shower.”

“There is no such thing as wasted time in the shower, Aubrey,” Chloe admonishes. Aubrey is about to refute that when Chloe’s hands move down toward her neck and her fingers start working on the knots there. Aubrey ends up murmuring, “Hair, Chloe. You promised only hair,” instead.

“But your neck is always so tight, and I give really good massages.”

Aubrey knows that –  _freshman year, again. She needs to stop thinking about freshman year_ – but she also knows that letting Chloe do whatever she wants never leads to anything productive. Aubrey turns around and pointedly ignores Chloe’s baleful pout. “Chloe. Only hair.”

Of course, Chloe takes that opportunity to slide her gaze down between them, lips unfurling into an inappropriate grin. “Well, that means I can help you with – ”

“Chloe!”

“I’m just teasing,” Chloe says easily. There is more than a twinkle of laughter in her voice and Aubrey can’t help but sigh and roll her eyes fondly.

“I really hope you haven’t said anything like that to Beca.”

Chloe gasps. “Aubrey! I was only in the shower with her that  _one_  time. And it was strictly professional! Honestly, I don’t know why I tell you anything.”

“Because I’m your best friend,” Aubrey sniffs. Chloe’s hands are wandering again and Aubrey clasps them in her own, bringing them back to the above-shoulder safety zone. “But you really haven’t said anything like that to Beca?”

Chloe could have brushed her off easily. She could have laughed and said, “Why? Are you jealous?” But Chloe has no boundaries and no concept that someone may be jealous of something like that. More importantly, Chloe loves Aubrey more unreservedly than she loves anyone else, and Aubrey sees it in the way Chloe looks at her and carefully intones, “Aubrey. I would not do something like that. Beca is just a friend.”

Freshman-Aubrey rears her ugly head then and makes Senior-Aubrey ask, “And what is this?”

Senior-Chloe, who hasn’t changed much from Freshman-Chloe, leans in and whispers, “This is me loving my best friend.”

Aubrey leans back, gently untangling Chloe’s hands from her hair.

“Aubrey, I haven’t put in conditioner yet.”

“I’m in a rush. Just promise me you won’t do anything like this with Beca.”

“I promise,” Chloe says, but her eyes are quizzical and her hands hang loosely at her sides. Aubrey slips out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel and sliding the shower curtain shut behind her.

“Are you mad at me?”

Aubrey looks up from toweling her hair. “What?” Chloe, no.”

“Do you have a crush on Beca?”

“Chloe!”

“What?” Chloe says, raising her hands defensively. “You keep telling me to stay away from Beca. A girl starts to wonder with all those warnings.”

“A girl who is  _crazy_ , maybe.” Chloe grins widely at that. “I am only warning you because I am looking out for the Bellas. And for you.”

“I don’t really see how that works,” Chloe says slowly, shivering and shifting further into the stream of hot water spouting erratically from the showerhead, “But you are captain.”

“Co,” Aubrey corrects. “And just stay away from Beca Mitchell. She is emotionally stunted and doesn’t understand things the way normal people do.”

Chloe rolls her eyes and Aubrey thinks she’s going to say something in Beca’s defense. Instead, Chloe stills and her gaze turns wistful. “I’ve missed this, Aubrey. Why don’t we do this more often?”

Aubrey clears her throat, “What, talk? We talk all the time.”

From the way Chloe just stares at her, Aubrey knows that was not what Chloe meant. Still, she can’t bring herself to address the fact that they were both just naked in a tiny, cramped shower and Chloe was washing her hair. Just because she’s had four years to adjust to Chloe’s particular brand of friendship doesn’t mean that she’s any better at coping with moments like this.

“I have to go,” Aubrey says instead, “Class in ten minutes. I’ll see you at Bellas practice?”

“Aye aye, co-captain,” Chloe says, giving a smart salute and flinging water against the shower curtain. Aubrey smiles and slips out of the bathroom.

When Chloe starts belting out the chorus to  _Titanium_ , Aubrey puts a hand to her head and mutters, “God, what an aca-mess,” resolving  to never play the shower card again no matter how badly Beca Mitchell is going to fall for Chloe’s unintentional charm.

There only needs to be one confused Bella falling in love with Chloe per year, and Aubrey’s turn has already passed.

—

_Titanium,_ Aubrey finds out later, is more than just Chloe’s not-so-secret-me-time jam.

(She found out about that last bit because, despite all her efforts, Aubrey has walked in on Chloe more than once or twice with her hands between her legs and that song blasting in the background. Aubrey has learned to just stop going into their apartment when she can hear that song through the front door.)

It turns out that this song is also Beca and Chloe’s shower time jam, and she finds this out because Chloe is humming it under her breath before the start of Bellas practice and Beca looks something like a fidgeting tomato.

“Beca. What is wrong with you today?”

Beca coughs uncomfortably. “Nothing.”

Chloe giggles.

“Shut up, Chloe,” Beca grits. Chloe giggles some more.

“Really?” Aubrey sighs. “Are we really going to go through practice like this?”

The amused look Chloe gives her is the exact opposite of helpful and Aubrey is about to tell her that when Chloe leans in really close and mock-whispers, “That’s our shower jam.”

“ _Chloe!_ ” Beca shrieks. This is the first time Beca has sounded so shrill and Aubrey would be marvelling at that –  _and also wondering if she could assign some of the higher registers to Beca; she is captain of the Barden Bellas, after all –_  if she wasn’t staring at Chloe with horror etched all over her face. It doesn’t get any better when Chloe continues, serious as ever:

“We really need to find our own shower jam, Aubrey. Isn’t it weird that we haven’t already done that? We’ve had four years to figure it out.”

Scratch her whole plan. Aubrey is not going to murder Beca Mitchell first, because Beca looks like she’s undergoing cardiac arrest at the moment. Aubrey needs to murder Chloe because  _what the hell_.

“Four years, huh?” Stacie says, waggling her eyebrows. Cynthia Rose is looking at Aubrey as though she’s seeing her in a whole new light, and Aubrey cannot deal with this.

“Chloe, stop spouting nonsense. Stacie, if you wink at me, I  _will_  make you run laps around campus in sweatpants and a garbage bag. Beca, if you’re going to have an actual heart attack, please let one of us know so I can replace you in a timely fashion. Everyone else,  _places!_ ”

Aubrey doesn’t care that she sounds like a harpy. She also tries to ignore the fact that her face is almost as red as Beca’s and instead shoots a scorching glare at Chloe who gives her a genuinely confused and hurt look.

“Five, six, seven, eight!”

She’s supposed to be winning Nationals this year, not dealing with Chloe accidentally flirting her way into Beca Mitchell’s pants. And if that happens, Aubrey swears to aca-God –

Actually, Aubrey doesn’t know what she’ll do. She guesses she’ll just have to make sure that never happens.

—

Except then it almost happens. Aubrey reminds herself to thank the aca-Gods for that stupid Jesse kid from the Treblemakers because without him, Beca Mitchell would have lost her pants to Chloe, and not in strip poker.

“Honestly, Aubrey, I was just – ”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Aubrey snaps. She is sitting at her desk with her back to Chloe, rapidly typing away on a report due in three weeks.  Or rather, she is smashing her fingers against the keyboard and hoping words are coming out, because at the moment, she is too full of rage to actually be productive. “How could you even think that that is  _remotely_  platonic?”

“I- I don’t know!” Chloe splutters. Aubrey spins around in her chair to face Chloe who is gesturing wildly with her hands, hair gathered up in a messy bun and eyes wider and bluer than usual. “I just –  _We_  do it all the time!”

“You can’t judge things based on  _that_!” Aubrey shrieks. Chloe reels back, blinking, and Aubrey wills herself to calm down before she accidentally loses her dinner. “Chloe. Chloe, I love you, but when will you _learn?_  Our boundaries are not the same as the boundaries you should have with other people!”

“I don’t know what that means!” Chloe cries, shaking her head. Running trembling hands over her face, Chloe breathes in deep and sighs, “Aubrey, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt Beca.”

“You kind of already did,” Aubrey spits out, a little too vitriolic. Chloe’s lower lip trembles.

“I know. Why does this always happen to me?”

The way Chloe’s voice cracks, Aubrey can’t hold onto her anger anymore. It leaves her as quickly as it had come when Chloe had first barged into their apartment, voice shrill with stress.

“You can’t just go around kissing people whenever they make you laugh, okay.”

“You already told me that one when Todd thought I was his girlfriend,” Chloe mutters dejectedly. Aubrey stands and motions for Chloe to come closer, wrapping her in a warm hug. Chloe buries her face in Aubrey’s neck.

“You also can’t just straddle people and tickle them whenever you think they’re being too quiet. Especially because you like to kiss people when you do that.”

“But Beca is really ticklish,” Chloe whines, “And it’s funny because she thinks she’s so scary but she’s like a little puppy.”

“Do you normally try to undress puppies?”

“Well, no,” Chloe hedges, and Aubrey pushes Chloe away, holding her at arm’s length and dipping her head to meet Chloe eye-to-eye.

“You have to listen to me, Chloe. Are you listening?”

“Yes,” Chloe says. She attempts to look away but Aubrey gently guides her back by the chin, and boy, Chloe can really pull off puppy-dog eyes when she wants to.

“Beca Mitchell has the emotional range of a teaspoon, alright. A teaspoon with too much eyeliner and alt-rock wristbands and whatever other baggage she has, and she doesn’t and will never understand that this is just you being friendly, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So you need to stop.”

“Stop being friends with her?” Chloe gasps. The look on her face matches the look Aubrey had when she first laid eyes on Beca Mitchell: sheer horror.

“Just stop being  _as_  friendly,” Aubrey tries.

Chloe sags. “Okay.”

Looking back on their own friendship, Aubrey doubts Chloe will manage it, but she doesn’t say anything. This is for Chloe to fix now, and Aubrey has meddled enough already. She tries to ignore the way her stomach drops a little when Chloe leans in and presses a gentle kiss to her lips, whispering, “Thanks.”

“Thank me when you fix it,” Aubrey responds. Her lips tingle when Chloe kisses her again instead of responding. “Chloe.” Another kiss, this time, longer. “Chloe, stop.”

“Sorry,” Chloe murmurs, pulling back. Her cheeks are slightly flushed and she won’t meet Aubrey’s eyes. “Your lips are just really soft.”

“That’s nice, but this is the kind of thing I’m talking about,” Aubrey gestures. Chloe is still not looking at her. “This whole being too friendly thing.”

“I know.” Chloe sighs. She breathes in deep again and gives herself a little shake, straightening to look at Aubrey with a sudden bright smile. “I can do this. You’re my best friend, so it’s different, but I can stop being so friendly to Beca. It will just take time. And effort.”

“That’s my girl.”

“Your turn to kiss me,” Chloe says coyly, and Aubrey just rolls her eyes.

“Just fix this, Chloe. We have Regionals in a week.”

“Aye aye, captain.” Chloe smiles, snapping off a smart salute.

Regionals really is in a week. They’ve got the choreography down ( _finally_ ), and if Fat Amy can just stick to the script, they’ll have an aca-mazing set list too, but this whole disaster with Beca Mitchell accidentally falling for Chloe needs to be rectified. Aubrey’s Nationals dreams are hanging in the balance and she will not have things fall apart for something so stupid  _(projectile vomiting on national television was bad enough, thank you very much)_.

—

Unsurprisingly, Chloe does not fix it.

Aubrey’s sure Chloe tried, but really, Chloe does not fix it. Aubrey knows this because Beca is yelling at Chloe backstage after randomly bursting into a La Roux song in the middle of Aubrey’s solo during their set. During  _Regionals._  If it wasn’t for Aubrey’s impeccable ability to keep time and stick to tradition, they would have completely lost it.

As it is, Beca is completely losing it on Chloe, until Jesse steps in from the back and suddenly Beca is losing it at Jesse.

“You know what,” Beca finally snaps, turning her rage onto Aubrey and Aubrey fights the urge to slap Beca for her insolence. It’s easier than she thought it would be because something in the way that Beca is lashing out makes her throat tighten. “If this is what I get for trying, then I’m done.”

And then Beca is gone. Gone around the corner, gone out the door. Aubrey stands in silence with the other Bellas as the Treblemakers file past, Jesse’s face tight, and Benji goes running after Beca, yelling her name.

“Well, that went well.”

“Shut up, Amy,” Aubrey snaps.

“What? I’m just saying – ”

“I said,  _shut up_.” Everyone’s eyes are wide and Stacie shrinks back in fear a little. They’ve all heard Aubrey shrieking in practice, but this is something different. There is a deeper, more visceral anger in Aubrey’s voice now. What they don’t know is that it is only a drop of what Aubrey is holding in her chest at the moment.

“I want all of you to get on the bus,” Aubrey finally says. Her voice is deadly calm. “I want all of you to get on the bus and sit there while I call and check if the tow truck has gotten our bus here yet . And then I want you all to get onto our bus, and we are going to go back to Barden, and no-one is going to say a  _word_ , are we clear?”

“Mm hm,” Amy chokes out, nodding vigorously. She then turns and scrambles madly for the door, the other girls quickly following. Only Stacie hesitates, giving Aubrey a frightened glance before turning to leave, and then it’s just Aubrey and Chloe left standing together in the dim lighting.

“What happened, Chloe.”

There is no answer. Aubrey turns to face Chloe and finds her standing perfectly still, features frozen in shock. “Chloe. I asked you what happened.”

“I – ” Chloe clears her throat, tries again, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I tried to talk to her. Yesterday. To explain things.” Chloe looks down. “It didn’t go too well.”

“I can see that,” Aubrey mutters, and she sighs a little when Chloe flinches. “Chloe, I didn’t mean – ”

“No, you’re right,” Chloe says. She wipes her eyes roughly with her hands and stomps her foot a little when she turns to face Aubrey. “I was supposed to fix this before Regionals and I didn’t, and I’m sorry.  I cost us Regionals. I cost us  _Nationals_.”

“You didn’t cost us Regionals,” Aubrey sighs, “Beca did.”

“But Beca wouldn’t be going off like this if I hadn’t led her on and made her think…” Chloe swallows uncomfortably, shifting and blinking back tears. “God. Her walls are so thick, and I just tore them down without thinking, and now I’ve hurt her.”

_Wouldn’t be the first time_ , Aubrey thinks, but she holds that in. Instead, she puts a stiff hand on Chloe’s shoulder and squeezes. “It’ll be fine. Give her some time. Beca will realize she’s just being an idiot and –”

“She’s not being an idiot!” Chloe snaps. Aubrey blinks in surprise. “She’s not being an idiot and she’s not emotionally stunted and she understands things perfectly fine. It’s me, Aubrey. I’m the one who isn’t normal. How can I always be friends with people and they all end up thinking I want to be more? I kissed her and I almost made out with her and I didn’t think anything of it until she – she – ”

Aubrey stays silent, watching Chloe shake. She knows where this is going, but she also knows Chloe just needs to say it out loud. “Until she what, Chloe? What did Beca do?”

“She told me she needs to know if I’m being serious, because Jesse is a good guy and she doesn’t want to hurt him.” Chloe draws in a big breath, stares at Aubrey with impossibly wide eyes. “She wanted to make sure I was for real because she wanted to choose me, but I didn’t even think I was doing anything, and she was worrying about hurting Jesse, and this whole time, I’ve been hurting  _her_.”

 Aubrey sighs. She wants to pull Chloe into a hug, but at the same time, she can’t bring herself to do it.

“I’ve been hurting her,” Chloe says again. “God, I’m so stupid. And then when I tried to tell her I didn’t mean anything…”

Aubrey can imagine how someone like Beca Mitchell, triple wrapped in steel reinforced defensive walls, would take being told by the one person who got past all of that –  _saw her exposed, raw_  – that it meant nothing. Chloe seems to be reliving the experience herself from the way she shrinks, miserable looking.

“Just give it time, Chloe,” Aubrey finally sighs. She doesn’t know what else to say –  _time had worked for her after all; granted, she’d taken four years, but it had worked_ – and Chloe doesn’t seem to be listening anyway. Slowly, Aubrey turns Chloe by her shoulders and guides her to the door. “Come on. Let’s just go back to Barden.”

“Okay,” Chloe whispers. It’s worse than any of the other times Aubrey has had to deal with Chloe finding out she’s hurt someone again. Aubrey’s chest twists uncomfortably.

So maybe Beca Mitchell isn’t quite the disaster Aubrey thought she would be. Maybe Beca Mitchell is different. The only thing Aubrey has qualms about now is why the hell couldn’t this all have waited until  _after_  Nationals?

—

“Aubrey.”

“Beca.”

Beca is small. Aubrey had never really thought about it before but she notices it now, looking down at Beca who is standing barefoot in the doorway of her own dorm room. Beca barely reaches her chin, but Aubrey’s in heels.

“Is there any reason why you’re here?” Beca asks. Her voice is raw and tired. “It’s Spring Break.”

Aubrey straightens, clears her throat and enunciates, “I needed to have a word with you, in person.  I also really think you’d prefer I didn’t do this in the hallway.”

“If this is about Regionals,” Beca starts, but Aubrey raises a hand. “Okay. I guess not. But you better not be lying to me because I really don’t want to hear it.”

Aubrey’s pride as a Bella demands that she address that slight, but the real reason for why she’s come back to Barden days early during Spring Break is eating at her and she forces herself to let it go. “Can you just let me in, Beca? It’s important.”

 “Whatever,” Beca eventually mutters, stepping aside and waving Aubrey enter her room. One half of it is completely pristine and the other is obviously Beca’s: steeped in obscure records, expensive headphones and DJ equipment. Surprisingly, her bed is strewn with DVD cases.

“Are you and Jesse still fighting?” Aubrey asks in spite of herself. She can almost hear Beca’s back snap straight.

“Is that what you came here to talk about?” Beca attempts to snarl. It comes out sounding more like she hasn’t slept in days and when Aubrey turns around, she finds that Beca is barely bristling.

“No. No. I’m sorry, that was inappropriate.”

What is inappropriate is that Aubrey should be committing aca-murder since Beca Mitchell singlehandedly caused the premature end of her final season as a Barden Bella but instead she’s wondering if the girl is eating enough. Aubrey shakes her head. Something is wrong with her.

“Can we sit down for this, please?” Aubrey finally asks, prim and proper. Beca stares but moves to roll her computer chair closer to the bed. Aubrey sinks into it and Beca settles onto the only clear spot on her bed, cross-legged.

“Well?”

“Well,” Aubrey tries. She has words prepared for this, but faced with Beca Mitchell’s skepticism and judgemental, alternative face, Aubrey finds it a lot harder to say things. She closes her eyes briefly and reminds herself that Beca Mitchell is a freshman, and she hates her. “I came here to talk about Chloe.”

“You – you  _what_?” Beca splutters.

“Specifically, I came here to say that you are not the first person that Chloe has unintentionally hurt,” Aubrey continues. She is starting in on the speech she’s rehearsed and the words are coming easier now. Beca, on the other hand, begins to look like she’s going to have an aneurysm.

“Are you trying to – are you saying –  _Really,_ Aubrey? Are you really just going to marginalize what happened?!”

“Not in the slightest,” Aubrey answers. Before Beca can say otherwise, she adds, “Although this means you care more for Chloe than you are willing to let anyone else see.”

Beca stutters to a stop at that, face warring between anger and trying to hide the hurt that Aubrey so clearly notices. “It’s not like that,” Beca finally says, voice rough. “I don’t care about her. At all.”

“Really? Because you seem to take a lot of offense to the idea that you aren’t the only person to have their heart broken by Chloe.”

“My heart was not  _broken_ ,” Beca snarls, and this time she really is snarling. Aubrey just raises an eyebrow and –  _she takes a deep breath; she has never admitted this to anyone, never said it out loud, but here it is, to Beca Mitchell of all people_  – idly replies:

“That’s good. Because mine was, freshman year.”

Aubrey expects loud disbelief. She expects Beca to scoff and roll her eyes and say something rudely snarky. In fact, she had prepared multiple scenarios in her head based on that aspect of Beca’s attitude so she’s more than ready to handle the possibilities. What she is not ready for is Beca’s silence, and the way the colour drains from Beca’s face.

“Beca,” Aubrey hazards, leaning forward just a little –  _it puts her in a better position to catch Beca if she decides to faint, although that is a bit too melodramatic for Aubrey’s tastes_ – and putting on a tight smile, “Are you okay?”

“Am I – ” Beca stutters, “Am I okay? Am  _I_  okay?” Aubrey watches as Beca pulls her knees to her chest and buries her face in them, laughing a little. There is an edge to it that Aubrey can’t quite place, and she creases her eyebrows in concern.

“Am I missing something here?”

“Are you missing something here?” Beca laughs. Aubrey wants to tell Beca to stop simply repeating things and try answering for a change, but she doesn’t quite get the chance. Beca lifts her face from her knees and gives Aubrey an almost manic smile. “This is possibly the craziest thing that has ever happened in my life.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Honestly,” Beca sighs, “I just came here because my Dad dragged me here for a college education instead of letting me become a DJ in LA, and now I’m living out a soap opera. Or a teen movie.”

“I am not here for your life story, Beca,” Aubrey spits. Her anger levels are rising and she’s not sure how long she can last before she tries to strangle this stupid crazy girl in front of her, but Aubrey didn’t come here for that. Using all the patience she’s ever learned from being the Bellas’ captain, Aubrey takes a deep breath and tries again. “Beca, do you mind explaining why you’re finding a very personal confession of mine funny?”

“Because this is insane,” Beca helpfully supplies. “Because things like this only happen in really dumb movies, or in teen romance novels.”

“What, falling for your best friend and having some stupid freshman laughing about it?” Aubrey seethes. She is so done with this. She came here with the intention of possibly giving Beca some closure and telling her that things will get better with time, and instead she’s getting ridiculed. “Or do you mean when self-absorbed, emo alt girls like you with all of your defensive walls and false bravado end up falling for someone and getting hurt?”

That last part sobers Beca up pretty quickly. If it weren’t for the rapid flash of hurt that sparks in Beca’s eyes, Aubrey would feel vindicated. Instead, she just feels like she hasn’t moved forward as much as she’d like.

“She hurt you pretty badly, didn’t she,” Beca says at last. Aubrey stiffens.

“I don’t know what you mean. Shouldn’t that be my line to you?”

“Not really. My line should be why are you telling me this,” Beca replies, “You’re you. I’m me. You hate me and I quit the Bellas. Why on earth would you be telling me something so personal?”

“Because,” Aubrey says, sighing a little, “I am the bigger and better person. And this is bigger than the Bellas.”

“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” Beca says wryly.

“And I never thought I’d say it, least of all to you. But Chloe is…” Aubrey trails off, unable to find the words. Beca smiles a little.

“Crazy?”

“Well, yes.”

“Too affectionate for her own good?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Your best friend, who you thought was something more but wasn’t and now you’re living with the consequences of that every day?”

Aubrey’s throat tightens. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

Beca shakes her head. In her room like this, with less make up on and the lighting a little dimmer than usual, Beca looks soft and young. “No. I mean, thank you, for trying. It means a lot that you would, you know, but differences aside and all that. I think Chloe beat you to the punch though.”

“The punch to what?” Aubrey asks.

“Telling me the big news.”

“What big news?” Aubrey asks. She’s starting to get tired of being the one trailing behind with questions. “Is there any chance you’re just going to tell me what you mean instead of saying cryptic things?”

Beca smiles. “No, this is fun.”

“I hate your attitude, Beca Mitchell.”

“I know,” Beca says. “Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. It means a lot, honestly.”

“Good,” Aubrey sniffs. Beca just rolls her eyes.

“But I really think you should have a talk with Chloe.”

“And why on earth would I do that.”

“To tell her what you were going to tell me.”

“You’re crazy,” Aubrey spits. Beca raises a skeptical eyebrow and Aubrey continues, “I haven’t spoken to anyone about this, until now, and I only chose to tell you because I saw how badly you have been affected by this and I figured you would probably want to hear that things do get better from someone who would know. That does not, in any way, translate to me wanting to tell Chloe.”

“Well, make it translate,” Beca says simply.

“What?” Aubrey gapes.

“I’m saying, make it translate, because from what Chloe told me, things have not gotten better, and you two really should just talk. Four years is a really long time.”

“A long time for  _what_?” Aubrey screeches. She’s aware she’s starting to sound hysterical. It is not completely uncalled for since Beca is being infuriating and she had come here with a speech and a well-meaning pat on the back for her and now she’s being turned around in circles. She is really, really starting to lose sympathy for Beca Mitchell.

“Four years,” Beca says slowly, like she is approaching an angry tiger, it is not an inaccurate description, “is a really long time to go on thinking that you were the only one in love with your best friend. If you catch my drift.”

Aubrey does catch her drift. She catches it so well, it hits her like a brick wall to the face. Aubrey finds that she can’t really breathe. “What did you just say?”

“Aubrey – ”

“What. Did. You. Just.  _Say?_ ”

“Look,” Beca tries, backing up a little on the bed, “Chloe came to talk to me and she told me a little bit about what happened and I just think you should really talk to her.”

“ _What did she tell you_.”

Beca swallows. With a quick, shallow breath, she blurts, “Chloe told me you two slept together and then you freaked out and said it was just something friends do, and that’s why she’s got all of these boundary issues. Because she doesn’t understand how something so important could just be something friends do, but you’re her best friend, and you mean too much to her for her to question it.” Chancing a glance at Aubrey, Beca adds, “I think she’s been in love with you this whole time and she just hasn’t figured out how to get past that. You really should talk to her, Aubrey.”

“ _Shut up, Beca Mitchell.”_ There is a stunningly cold fury in Aubrey’s voice. Beca reels back in surprise, and Aubrey snaps into standing position, hands clenched solidly into fists at her sides. “You will tell this to absolutely no-one, do you hear me?”

“Aubrey,” Beca tries. Aubrey glares at her so hotly that Beca closes her mouth for once.

“I  _said_ , you will breathe a word of this to no-one, do you understand?”

“Absolutely,” Beca nods with wide eyes. Aubrey purses her lips, swallows hard, and then moves to the door. “Aubrey, wait.”

“No.”

“Seriously, I’m sorry – ”

“No.” Aubrey says again. She reaches the door, turns to give Beca one last, hard stare and Beca just stops, standing small in front of her bed. “Goodbye, Beca.”

“Bye, Aubrey,” Beca sighs. Aubrey slams the door behind herself.

She would like to say she made it back to her apartment in one piece without shedding a tear, and she can. What she can’t say is that she did not go straight into the bathroom, collapse in front of the toilet and heave up the contents of her stomach for an hour. Aubrey is only thankful that Chloe hasn’t come back from Spring Break yet because she is not ready to deal with any of this. Not at all.

—

She gets the call from the ICCA during an exercise session that is too long to be strictly healthy and the news it brings is so joyous, Aubrey forgets about her need to hide from Chloe.

(Obviously, she doesn’t forget enough to actually  _call_  Chloe the way she calls the rest of the Bellas, but she does text her first. She just can’t quite bear to hear Chloe’s voice in her ear yet. Aubrey, at this point, is feeling like maybe any time at all will still be too soon.)

When Spring Break ends and the Bellas congregate for a harried rehearsal Aubrey slaps together last minute, they all look as ecstatic as Aubrey feels, until Chloe walks in and announces:

“I texted Beca.”

“You did what?” Aubrey chokes. Part of it is the fact that this is the first time she’s seen Chloe, despite hearing her come back into their apartment two nights ago. The other part is that Chloe texted Beca. Beca, who was the one who cost them the Regionals loss to begin with. Beca, who Chloe deemed trustworthy enough to share Aubrey’s most sacred secret with, and yet never thought to talk to  _her_ , her best friend.  Aubrey is almost angry enough to call Chloe out on it –  _What? You couldn’t tell me, your best friend, the one who’s been struggling with this for four years, but you could tell that upstart, alternative freshman?_  – but this is so not the place. Aubrey can’t hold back the anger, though.

“That is not an opinion for you to  _have_ , Chloe!”                                                                

“Why? Because it’s not yours?” Chloe snaps back, voice hoarser than usual. Aubrey just stares. Chloe is rigid and wound tighter than Aubrey’s ever seen her, and suddenly, Aubrey can’t deal with it. She can’t deal with the fact that Chloe is defending Beca. She can’t deal with the fact that Beca knows things about her that even she didn’t know, and she most definitely cannot deal with the fact that Chloe has hurt the both of them and is acting like she’s the wronged party.

What everything devolves into, to Aubrey’s later shame, is an all-out barf-fight. It is disgusting, and rancid, and as Chloe claws at her, screaming for the pitch pipe, Aubrey has to wonder how a year so filled with dedication and haphazard promise could have turned out like this. The answer to all that, of course, is Beca Mitchell.

“Guys? Guys! Stop! What is going  _on_?!”

Aubrey pulls herself to her feet, wiping quickly at the slickness on her chin and clutching the pitch pipe in her hand. “This is a Bellas rehearsal,” Aubrey manages. She can hear Chloe struggling to stand just behind her, vibrating with tension, and her grip on the pitch pipe tightens.

Beca, to her credit, keeps her eyes solely on Aubrey. Aubrey can hear Chloe shuffling behind her but Beca doesn’t waver. Instead, she stares at Aubrey so hard that Aubrey thinks Beca may be trying to telepathically communicate with her.

_I’m sorry_ , Aubrey hears.  _We’re sisters in a club no-one wants to be in, right?_  Beca Mitchell’s voice is surprisingly clear in her head, and Aubrey chalks that up to the fact that Beca’s eyes are dark and pleading in exactly the same ways Aubrey’s used to be.

_She hurt both of us pretty badly, but I get it. She didn’t mean to and she never has._

In the end, Aubrey lets Beca back in to the Bellas. There was group mutiny happening and Aubrey doesn’t have the strength to fight all of them at once –  _she could totally take Stacie and Cynthia Rose and even Jessica, Denise and Ashley at once, but Lilly and Fat Amy? Aubrey may be crazy sometimes, but she’s not that crazy –_ and anyway, Beca really knows what she’s doing as she weaves Nelly into Bruno Mars in the empty pool.

After, Beca gently pulls Aubrey aside with a hand on her elbow.  “Hey.”

“Hi,” Aubrey says doggedly. Beca scuffs the toe of her sneaker on the pool bottom and sighs a little, twisting her face into an almost-wince when she looks at Aubrey again.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Again.”

“I heard you the first time,” Aubrey sniffs.

“No, I mean, for all the stuff. With Chloe.”

Aubrey clears her throat. The rest of the Bellas are climbing out of the pool, Cynthia Rose giving Chloe a hand up, and Aubrey and Beca are the only two still left, standing somewhere just shy of the start of the deep end. “Well. I’m sorry, too.”

Beca shrugs, a delicate little motion with shoulders that are dwarfed under her jacket, and Aubrey finds herself thinking that Beca may not be so bad like this. “Friends?”

“Bellas.” Aubrey intones. Beca seems to understand the oath –  _for Aubrey, being a Bella has always transcended anything else_ – and smirks a little.

“Have you talked to her yet?”

“I’m not ready to talk about that,” Aubrey snaps. Beca just nods, pulls on Aubrey’s elbow to guide her toward the ladder up.

“That’s cool. I don’t think I’d ever be ready.”

“I’m glad we’ve reached an understanding.”

“But I talked to my Dad, before coming here. And I… spoke with Jesse. It helped me realize a couple of things.”

Aubrey, hand on the first rung of the ladder, turns her head to look at Beca behind her. Beca simply smiles –  _a little sad, a little wistful_ – and says:

“Being close to people matters more than you’d think. Stupid that I’m only learning this now, huh?”

Aubrey feels herself giving Beca the same kind of smile she’s seeing aimed at her as she says, “Don’t worry. It seems I’m only learning this now too.”

Beca laughs. “We’ve really got to fix things.”

“Yeah,” Aubrey nods.

“You’ve really got to talk to Chloe.”

 “Let’s win Nationals first, alright?” Aubrey tries, attempting to ignore the lump in her throat.

“You’re crazy.” Beca rolls her eyes. “We’re fixing things now or we’ll never make it to Nationals.”

Aubrey just sighs and lets Beca drag her up the ladder and out of the pool. She’s right. What is the world coming to, if Beca Mitchell is right? Aubrey finds herself smiling a little at that thought.

—

“So. You had major surgery without telling me.”

It is not the way Aubrey had wanted to tackle this problem, but Chloe has been surprisingly efficient at evading her lately and this is the first time Aubrey’s managed to catch her. She supposes there are worse places to have a confrontation than in their kitchen. Chloe is standing wide-eyed with her hands wrapped around a mug of tea.

“I thought the season had ended,” Chloe says slowly. Aubrey, despite wearing a loose sweater over leggings, feels like something is strangling her. She coughs a little to clear her throat.

“There seems to be a lot of things you did without telling me, actually.”

“I’m not sure where this is going,” Chloe hedges. Aubrey feels something prickling at the corners of her eyes but refuses to let herself waver.

“You told Beca.”

“About what?”

“About us.”

Chloe is stiff now. Her knuckles are white around her mug. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t even try, Chloe. Beca told me.”

Chloe gapes, slowly turning a shade of white that Aubrey finds slightly worrisome. Still, she had tried for the better part of three weeks to get this out of her system, and she is not going to let the chance of Chloe fainting screw up her burst of courage. “I – she wasn’t supposed to – ”

“Tell me?” Aubrey supplies. “I gathered as much.” Chloe just stands, wordless and scared, and Aubrey can’t hold it in anymore. “Chloe, I found out because I went to go tell Beca. About what happened with us.”

“Then why are you grilling  _me_  about this?” Chloe bursts.

“Because I had to find out from Beca, of all people, that – ” Aubrey chokes. Looking down at her feet, Aubrey grits her teeth and whispers, “That thing that happened in freshman year, and what you said afterward. Did you mean it?”

Chloe is backpedalling now, mug of tea set on the countertop and forgotten. “Aubrey, it was just a thing between friends, right? That’s what you said.”

“I  _know_  what I said. But did you mean what you said?”

_It had been so overwhelming. Chloe, warm and bright and so stunningly full of love, had wrapped Aubrey up in soft arms and deep kisses until Aubrey found herself naked in Chloe’s bed, shivering from the whisper of Chloe’s lips against her own._

_“You’re so beautiful, Aubrey.”_

_Aubrey hadn’t known what to say. She had never dealt with anything like this, never knew how to be this close with anyone. When Chloe had brushed her hand up Aubrey’s thigh, Aubrey had just mumbled Chloe’s name and nodded her assent._

_“I want to be with you like this forever,” Chloe had whispered afterward, brushing hair out of Aubrey’s eyes. Aubrey felt herself starting to break._

_“I – ” Aubrey choked, tears falling down her cheeks despite herself, “I don’t know how to do this, Chloe.”_

_“It’s not that hard. We can both learn,” Chloe said, wiping at Aubrey’s tears and pressing soft kisses to her cheeks, her nose, her lips. “God, Aubrey, you’re so beautiful.”_

_“And you’re drunk,” Aubrey whispered hoarsely. Chloe pulled back a little, eyes sharp and clear._

_“No. I’m not.”_

_“This is just what friends do,” Aubrey continued, louder this time and sniffing harshly, “Friends get drunk and sometimes make out with each other.”_

_“But we’re more than friends,” Chloe whispered, distraught. “And this was a lot more than just making out. Right?”_

_“No.” Clearing her throat and brushing her hair away with her own hands, Aubrey intoned, “We are more than just friends: we’re best friends. But this is what best friends do, okay, Chloe?”_

_“Aubrey – ”_

_“No. This is what best friends do, okay?”_

_Chloe had just looked at her, wide eyes shimmering in the dark. “Okay.”_

_Even then, Chloe had held her for the rest of the night. It’d been Aubrey who’d woken up at five and slipped out, eyes pricking with tears._

Chloe looks at Aubrey now, hands tight at her sides and tears threatening to spill. “Of course I did, Aubrey. How could you ever think that I didn’t?”

“Because I was scared.”  _I’m still scared._

“I was never drunk,” Chloe says, wiping angrily at her tears.

“I know you weren’t.”

“Then why did you say I was?” Chloe cries. “I just wanted to be with you, and I get that you were scared, I do, but why did you have to just brush me off like that?”

“Because I wasn’t just scared, Chloe, I was  _terrified!_  I’ve never been this close to anyone. I’d never  _been_  that close with anyone.” Chloe is holding in sobs now, the same way Aubrey is, just across the counter from her. “I got kicked out by my father and I come to this new place and I have no friends and suddenly, there’s you and you’re just so perfect and beautiful.” Aubrey gasps for breath, angry at herself for losing control and angry at Chloe for just standing there, crying and hurting so much it makes Aubrey ache even more, “And you chose me. I couldn’t deal with it. I just couldn’t.”

“Aubrey,” Chloe sniffs, reaching out for Aubrey’s hand. Aubrey jerks away. “Aubrey, why wouldn’t I choose you?”

“Because I’m ugly, Chloe, can’t you see?!” Aubrey cries, gesturing at herself, “Because I’m ugly on the inside and I’m a  _failure!_ ”

“God, Aubrey,” Chloe chokes, and then she’s around the counter and wrapping Aubrey into that same, hot embrace Aubrey has never grown completely accustomed to, and Aubrey is sobbing into Chloe’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Chloe. I was the one who hurt you. I screwed the both of us up. I screwed everything up.”

Chloe just squeezes her tighter, palming the back of Aubrey’s head and pressing a kiss to her temple. “We’re perfect the way we are,” Chloe whispers, soft and warm, “And you are and have always been perfect, okay?”

Aubrey just nods, too tired to do anything else. Four years is a really long time, like Beca said. “Can we be more than best friends?” Aubrey whispers. She’s done with pretending and she’s done with trying to push Chloe away because she can’t deal with how it feels to have her close. It really is like Beca said: it’s important to be close to people. Aubrey’s just glad that Chloe is the one she can be close to.

“Of course, silly.” A beat later, Chloe carefully whispers, “I love you.”

Aubrey stiffens, heart beating wildly, but Chloe keeps her arms around her and Aubrey eventually sags, sniffing, “I love you, too.”

Chloe laughs into Aubrey’s hair and says, “We really have to thank Beca for this, don’t we?”

Aubrey shakes her head and kisses Chloe, smiling into Chloe’s laughter.

—

Nationals happen. They win. Beca kisses Jesse.

Aubrey does not say anything to Beca Mitchell, thank you very much. Not even when Beca winks at her after Chloe presses a warm kiss to Aubrey’s lips. Not even when Beca elbows her in the side before hugging her in delight and handing the trophy to her. Beca Mitchell was a disaster and she broke the Bellas because she did not understand that Chloe has no boundaries.

Thankfully, Beca Mitchell was also the one to make Aubrey realize that being a freshman disaster can lead to beautiful things, and Aubrey throws her arm around Beca’s small shoulders and squeezes her in gratitude, Chloe warm at her side.

“I love you,” Chloe whispers into her ear.

Aubrey just smiles.

Beca Mitchell is kind of awesome, not that Aubrey will ever tell her that.


End file.
